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You now that one article, perhaps you found it on your feed or linked to a newsletter, and that article will not go away? This is what happened to me when I read Heather Plett's, "What it Means to 'Hold Space' for People, Plus Eight Tips on How to Do it Well". Heather gives us 8 wonderful, clearly defined tips for helping us understand how we can help others via the story of when she held space for another. It is meaningful, and magical. Her article then kicked off a whole pondering on the meaning of space holding, how season's hold space, how vessels hold space, and how we do so for one another. Go ahead and read it, I'll wait... As a Tarot professional, my fist thought is often, 'How can I use Tarot to help me gain access to this? How can I teach or communicate this to others or for myself when I am confused about how that might look in my life and with another?" So I created a spread based on Heather's 8 tips, here they are below: When Compassion is Needed Spread Use this when someone is hurting, or lost, or it feels unredeemable... Lay them out any old way that feels good to you... Hold your cards after shuffling and imagine the person in need of your compassion being held by you. Whether that is a visualization of actually holding them (or you are the sea and they are floating, or you are the sky and they are a star) see that your space holding has an energetic effect, your intended is glowing with your concern; not changing them or judging them, just accepting them entirely; allowing them to feel your quiet space-holding. As you visualize the holding, pull 9 cards with the following questions: 1 card: What do I inuitively already know about this person? 1 card: What information does this person need from me? 1 card: In what areas do I need to back off? 1 card: How is my Ego keeping me from holding space? 1 card: How can I best communicate that there is no one right way to heal? 1 card: How can I most guide and help? 2 cards: How can I best hold space during difficult emotions?/become triggered 1 card: What areas of holding space for them might be a challenge for me?
1 card: What do I inuitively already know about this person? 6 of Swords- The card of the mourner, she is still very sad but moving away from that. She is not stuck. 1 card: What information does this person need from me? Page of Cups- She needs my positivity and brightness, she needs ideas and new things to consider. Distraction even. 1 card: In what areas do I need to back off? 6 of Wands- Stop telling her that it will, "Be ok." She can be not ok, I can and should honor her where she is rather than mitigating that into a future story (while minimizing the now). 1 card: How is my Ego keeping me from holding space? 10 of Swords- My own pain of loss from the past keeps throwing my own story in front of my face, rather than attending to hers. 1 card: How can I best communicate that there is no one right way to heal? Temperance- Being patient, focusing on balance, the Angel is literally holding two vessels, how can it be a clearer card for space-holding? ( I tend to focus on outcomes and fixing things so this while obvious, is sometimes against my nature). 1 card: How can I most guide and help? 2 of Cups- Love her, listen to her, see her. Don't "do" anything. 2 cards: How can I best hold space during difficult emotions?/ become triggered? The Magician/3 Swords-- The Magician has one hand to the heavens, and one to the group. Again, conduit (vessel) energy, be a grounding expansiveness. As a 'fixer' who likes dynamic energy, I am reminded that the tension of holding something that is transmuting is dynamic. Holding a live wire, we are the grounding element. Also, The pain of her heartbreak can trigger my own heartbreak for her. 1 card: What areas of holding space for them might be a challenge for me? Knight of Swords- a Revision of what was said, don't try to "do" or fix or come to a conclusion, do not rush this ambiguity out of anxiety, refer back to both Temperance and the Magician- conduit energy. As you see... this spread, while simple, is unbelievably helpful and profound. You can use it with people, with animals, with revolutions, with those who you do not understand and do not agree, with the things that are inexplicable, and with your own states like when you are feeling anxious and scared and need to hold space for your own damn self.
Love you.
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 Tastes like chicken...mmm nonviolent chicken My husband and I like to forage for wild mushrooms and collect edible wildfood. It is a gentle way to sink into a place and learn local ecology. It also provides us with some really delicious mushrooms and herbs as well as knowledge of local poisonous plants; for example, our front yard is abundant in snakeweed, which was what killed Abraham Lincoln’s Mother. Cows can digest the plant but the poison will leak into her milk and kill people! Interesting, no? So, what the heck does any of this have to do with Tarot? Well, actually, a lot, and from the practice of finding mushrooms I have become a better reader. Being good at spotting things in nature requires the art of soft focus, soft focus is absolutely the opposite of what most of us do in our daily lives. Our lives are grounded in hard focus; on the road, on our phones, at our emails, etc. The beam of concentration is sharp, but pinpoint small. Soft focus is blurry with a wide field of view and increasingly, we as a society are engaging in soft focus less and less often. 
So just as I begin a walk in the woods with soft eyes and alert and calm mind, so to do I begin a reading. The Tarot spread is like a patch of woods, and perhaps there will be mushrooms, edible nettle or even a fawn off the trail. The Tarot spread just might have an answer I am looking for, or it contain might something else. We are just taking a walk in the forest, open to what we experience. As a mushroom hunter, I have in mind a number of mushrooms I would like to see in the woods but I make no personal expectations about what will happen. That is the first very important tip, have no expectations. As a reader I begin a spread with no expectations about what I will see, including answers. Once I have checked my own expectations, I spread the cards and I invoke soft focus. Those of you who meditate probably know what I mean by soft focus. We “soften” our eyes by allowing our vision to be less focused, we are not “looking” or “paying” attention to anything in particular. We are allowing the whole vision of the scene to be as it is. So more concretely, what does it mean to engage in soft focus during a reading? Here are some guidelines to help you :
And when you do that… YES!… there’s your shining mushroom all the sudden out of nowhere, as if it appeared. The message, the connection, the intuitive information hits you, usually out of nowhere. It is as if the information bubbled up between the cards. I am not sure how I can explain it more than that, but that is how it works for me… the information comes between the cards, and it is shining and by itself, and it is accurate, but I can never strain for it, or ask for it. I just sit without anxiousness and it will appear to my conciousness if it will. The act of reading Tarot is truly an act of surrender. This kind of soft focus reading can be extraordinarily challenging. Our rational/anxious/monkey mind wants to immediately set to work to figuring it all out. And you will engage the ordinal part of you later, but when you first lay out the cards have no expectations, do not “set to work” just walk in the forest of the tarot spread and allow the subconscious/intuitive part of you do what it does. If I am actively trying to focus my attention on every tree and shrub I would never find my nummy num nums, there is too much information everywhere. So I stay quiet, I move slow and I look about but in that place of soft focus I am allowing the information to bleed past the line of sight and into something deeper. Like vision, you can either have a narrow and sharp focus OR a hazy wide field of vision, why not use both tools in your readings? Give it a try, lay out your cards and refrain from the emphasis to make meaning. See if anything pops up, and if it does not, then go about your normal tarot reading, but do give it a chance first. 
Another major score!
So I bought a new car over the holidays. When I bought my last car I promised myself that the next would be a hybrid or a plug in so keeping to that promise I silently eased out of the lot with Ford’s C-Max. It is a funny little beast, small like a standard compact but you sit upright in it like you would an SUV or minivan. Some call it a compact wagon, or a mini minivan but I call it pure Love. I needed something small enough for urban driving but roomy enough to pack up for tradeshows, this little guy fit the bill perfectly. (But, I have yet to see another one on the road). And yes, this is a shamleless promotion for the Max, its so cool and unusual!  I think my C-Max is throwing shade at that Prius! So of course being a Tarot reader I read for the car and I. Like I do with every new thing that enters my life. :) So I’m going to share that spread for you… Assessing the Relationship Between (x) and (Y) Spread: You can use this spread for any new person, place, or thing in your life; cars, people, houses, that new dress—anything! It is a great general use kind of spread to have on hand. Assessing the Relationship Between (x) and (Y) Spread: Set One: A base card that represents me. A base card that represents the other Set Two: A card that represents how I am entering the relationship A card that represents how the other is entering the relationship Set Three: A card that represents how the two of you will work together A card that represents what your best will look like as a pair A card that represents challenges in the relationship Set Four: A card that is the key to making the relationship work from your end Final Outcome: how will this relationship work out, overall? As you can see, you can use this spread with you and anything or anyone else, boyfriends, sisters, new cars, your relationship to God, the Galaxy and even things at issue such as a relationship to food, smoking, and also projects like that painting you are working on or learning a new craft like knitting… really, the limit to this spread type is only your imagination—you can use it for just about anything and everything. Using it over time is a powerful tool and ally for helping you learn so much about yourself. Once we understand themes, cycles, and personal narratives we then begin to become more mindful of the relationships we enter into and their lessons for us. You can also use this spread to assess relationships between two other things like you cat and your dog, your new furnace and the house, as well as two other people (provided you have their permission to look, of course). Below I illustrate the reading with my C-Max, thinking up new and inventive way to use the Tarot is great fun, you can even be silly with it, "How will the relationship to me and this taco I am about to eat will work out?" Heh, why not? Assessing the Relationship Between My Car and I A base card that represents me—The Sun This of course is my overjoy and happiness with a car that seemed exactly right for me after a long search. A base card that represents the other—King of Swords Fascinating, the car is telling me that he is protective (lots of airbags), technically high-maintenance (he is a hybrid, after all) and he needs to be treated very fairly with regular checkups, this is no beater car. He is “smart” (certainly true he can read my text messages while I’m driving) and he expects to be treated in a certain way. A card that represents how I am entering the relationship—8 of Wands A card of fast movement this of course represents my desire to travel. A card that represents how the other is entering the relationship—6 of Wands A card of success, I think he is happy to be off the lot and running. A card that represents how the two of you will work together—Queen of Swords I feel like this is emphasizing on his care, I’m not going to be speeding or up to my usual shenanigans in this car, That we got both the King/Queen of the same suit usually indicates a match. A card that represents what your best will look like as a pair—3 of Pentacles We will work very well together. A nice team. A card that represents challenges in the relationship—8 of Pentacles reversed I was told that with this hybrid needs to be regularly driven or the battery will die (there is a lot of tech running even when the car is off). There is a chance that this can happen, especially as I often ride my bike or walk to my office in nice weather.) A card that is the key to making the relationship work from your end—10 of Swords reversed Basically, this says, Jenna- don’t crash this car! Final Outcome: how will this relationship work out, overall?—Judgement A new hybrid creates a new driving style for me, we will definitely be exploring new roads together. So what did I learn from using this spread? That my car needs to be kept to his service plan, no fudging on this end, and he is not a beater car, he needs to be treated well, and driven often to stay maintenance. We will work very well together and also vacation together as there are so many travel and new roads (Judgement). Also, be careful in this car because I can be aggressive as a driver, its time I cleaned up my act! The reading also reaffirmed that this purchase was a good decision and I will most likely keep it awhile. The specific lack of negative cards overall (even the 10/swords was reversed) often can indicate that within the scope of the reading, things will most likely be favourable. As you can see, this spread can be very helpful in getting clarity on you and anything else. I would love to see how you use this all-purpose spread, please share your thoughts below or email them to me directly. If you see me and my Max, please don't get mad if I am driving slow :) Now before you run along reading about you and your favorite dress... Next month I am running another Tarot 101 class in Narberth, PA. In February
(I only offer these twice a year and a very limited group size). Gain all the benefits of above and tune into your deep Self, increase compassion, make new friends (who by and large are very open-minded, frendly "normal" people) and trasnform and heal. |
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Jenna Matlin
M.S. in Organizational Psychology and Leadership Categories
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