“My reader was telling me what I already know.” What is going on here and why does it matter? Below are 4 reasons why a client might be getting known information from a reader:
However, a reader who is talking about immediate issues: the micromanaging boss, the still living at home adult child, the husband who has been distant-- these things, while they may be “what I already know” can be instantly confirmed for accuracy illustrating a clear connection between the reader and the sitter. Doing this without being vague takes far more skill and confidence on the part of the reader, and in my mind, is the most accurate way of illustrating that the Tarot is in fact speaking to the sitter’s life and not just making up a bunch of you know what. #2 There is a mismatch between sitter expectations and the experience being offered by the reader.
In a larger cultural context, there exists a kind of showman style of some intuitives that has largely dominated the popular imagination and expectation about what one should expect from a reading session, “I feel someone over here in this corner, a purple sweater and a daisy, who is this message for?” if the sitter has an expectation that this style is the norm, that they will be wow’d with information about the mystery of their lives, then a reader who is verifying known information may not live up to their presession expectations. Does that mean the reader is bad or perhaps just a bad fit for what the sitter wanted? It is important for the sitter to research what the intuitive does and how she does it. Read her reviews; what do they say about her reading and intuitive style, these are often clues to see if her style is a match. Just like with any other service practitioner, as the consumer it is important to find out if the provider will meet our base expectations before we buy. #3 The sitter has specific expectations about the session.
Sessions come from a conversation between our higher selves, our God principal, or subconscious and our own inner knowing- we cannot possibly dictate to all of Them what we want as often They have their own ideas about that and that idea is to get the sitter to pay attention to certain known aspect of their lives. #4 The current situation is emphatically more important, it is the lynchpin unlocking everything else.
That right there is a Spiritual Intervention, sure it’s all stuff the client knows but her Higher Self is so absorbed with looking at the current issue that She absolutely ignores the stated question. Her future lies directly within the resolution of a current scenario and her Higher Self is far more motivated in helping to resolve an urgent issue than alleviating anxiety about the future. An unscrupulous reader in this scenario would just give the sitter what she wants, “I see that in 6 months you will find the man of your dreams, he will be tall, he will be accomplished, he will love you, its coming for you!!!”
O, how much easier it is to be a reader to tell sitters what they hope/desire/wish to hear! So much more spiritual labor goes into being a conduit for truth, delivering the tough news, the news that will hurt and be unremarkable and necessary and needed and ultimately transform a sitter's very life. It is tough being the "bearer of bad news" or telling the client that the session will not be about what she was hoping for-- making people take their spiritual medicine is tough work! I get clients who have seen a string of readers before me, “But they said he will come back but he never did.” How hard it can be as a reader to state the obvious and the painful, “Darling heart, he is not. Let’s look at healing that heart of yours.” Sometimes a reading that speaks to “what I already know” will be the most honest and profound reading a client has ever had… if she can check her assumptions at the door and open to the incredible mystery/ordinary that is a good Tarot session.
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Lately folks everywhere are hanging a shingle out proclaiming that they are intuitive coaches in addition to the traditional psychic, Tarot, crystal ball or what have you reader.
But, what exactly IS an intuitive coach and how does that differ from standard psychic readings? Below is a comparison chart to help delineate the differences so that you, dear reader, can make an informed choice about the kind of practitioner you wish to hire. A fortune teller predicts the future. An intuitive coach shows you how you are making (or breaking) your future, co-creating an interdynamic picture of the road you are on now and the road ahead. A fortune teller may be focused on when a thing happens. An intuitive coach is focused on how a thing happens. A fortune teller treats the sitter as a passive audience, most clients do not speak and are often suspicious to speak because they “do not want to give away anything.” An intuitive coach encourages conversation and sees the sitter as an active participant in the co-creative process. The sitter speaking and sharing in no way negatively affects or influences the intuitive message, in fact, the sharing enhances the session. People may test a fortuneteller for their psychic ability, the point of the session is to find out about things the reader couldn't have possibly known, the session might be fraught with suspicion and skepticism. People engage in a session with trust and open-mindedness with an intuitive coach because the session is a conversation and the process and less about the intuitive making a hit. A fortune teller may tell you that her information comes from God, Guides, her ability or your Grandmother; there is a sense that the sitter is in the middle of a maelstrom of information happening around her. An intuitive coach may perceive intuitive information from a variety of sources like the traditional fortune teller, but also makes the sitter an active participant; information may also be coming from the sitter’s higher self, unconscious self or the sitter’s own intuitive ability. Once a session is over, a sitter with the fortune teller may be wondering or thinking about when certain things are going to happen. A sitter with an intuitive coach will have the information and tools they need to make things happen or to prepare for situations unfolding in their lives. Both the fortune teller and the intuitive coach are using a 6th sense to gain information. The intuitive coach has additional training in life coaching techniques that a fortune teller may not have. Life coaching is a technique that requires specific training and skills, it requires an education about this technique, and it is far more than just “giving advice”. A intuitive coach should have a degree in coaching or at the very minimum a certification from a reputable coaching school or training facility. Intuitve coachng is not for everyone in the same way that the traditional fortunetelling session is not for everyone and each has their own strengths. Understanding the unique differences can greatly help and enhance whichever session a sitter chooses. Since coaching is not yet certifiable by law (like massage back in the 60s) anyone can say they are a life coach with no training and it is not illegal. Also, there are many fly by night certifications of dubious educational quality. If you are interested in experiencing an intuitive coach, do your homework: where did they learn life coaching and how rigorous was the school they went to? What exactly did they learn and if you ask them, what kind of psychology and or coaching background do they have? An intuitive coach worth her salt will be able to happily answer any and all of these questions. With a little investigative work and an interest in creating your future using a spiritual focus, an intuitive coach can be exactly what you are looking for. Happy intuiting! Oh boy, if I had a dollar for everytime I heard the following joke, “Well you’re the psychic you should have KNOWN I was going to (fall, fail, buy a new car, whatever)!” I would be a very rich woman by now. In fact, because I hear it so often I now just kind of grit my teeth and the said heckler a very salty “dont MAKE me cast a spell on you” kinda look. This particular assertion is annoying because it’s based on an assumption of intuition that is just completely false. Let me explain with a little activity for you. I want you to think about how many red cars you saw today on the road. It doesn’t matter where, it could have been while going to work or headed to the store. Can you please tell me how many red cars you saw. Maybe you cannot? Maybe you are not sure? Well, obviously since you cannot tell me how many red cars you saw, then that TOTALLY means you cannot see right? Because if you could see, you could tell me how many red cars you saw. Right? Your eyes are open and you are looking at everything around you, then you should be able to confidently give me that number. That, in a nutshell is what people ask me about my intuition everytime they crack ye olde: “YOU”RE the psychic, you should have KNOWN my Aunt Myrna would make a strawberry cupcake today.” But, if you paid attention to every single thing you physically see you would not be able to do anything, you could not drive you could not walk you would just be staring at everything say "ooo pretty" to yourself all day long. You mind filters out most of the noise and then presents to you what is important to you, what is currently relevant, and what supports your agenda at the time. Intuition is often the same way, at least for me. If I paid attention to every single random little intuitive hit I would be laying on the floor drooling by 10am. My conscious mind filters out most of the noise, it has to. Science has studied this phenomenon and suggests that 80-90% of external stimuli gets filtered out by our brain. This phenomenon is called sensory gating. Like sight, my intuition actually works best when I am given an activity, a question, or a line of thought to follow. I receive intuitive messages based on what I decide to pay attention to. Just like any other sense. And when I am not actively reading or putting my feelers out there, I am doing laundry, or writing this blog. It doesn’t mean that I am not intuitive all the time, I am, its just that unless if it s BIG BRIGHT message then I am just not paying attention because its not on my list of things to do. There is so much misinformation and misunderstanding about intuitive thought that we measure its ability by metrics that are patently the wrong kind of tests for it. Asking questions like above, or making wide sweeping statements about what intuition can do is like using a teaspoon to measure the length of your house. The measurement does not fit the kind of data sought and so when a skeptic does that, he will be right over and over again. |
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Jenna Matlin
M.S. in Organizational Psychology and Leadership Categories
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